10 qualities that make you hate by those around you | lifestyle

Excessive kindness in your relationships or sharing personal details about yourself, such and other actions you might think can bring you closer to others. On the contrary, it harms your attempts to meet new people and instantly makes you hateful.

Whether during the first stage of knowledge or in general, certain behaviors leave a bad impression on you and make those around you not like interacting with you or talking to you because of them.

We explain some of them to you so that you can take them into account and leave a better impression on those around you, through the following points:

• She shares very personal details

Being honest, open, and talking about yourself with confidence is one of the best ways to make friends, and sharing secrets helps strengthen relationships. But if you’re too outspoken and start revealing very personal things early in the relationship, it can affect how much others like and accept you, and it can make them feel intimidated by you and come across as a bitch. insecure person.

The balance here is knowing the limits of what personal information you share with others, and talking about your favorite childhood hobbies and memories may be enough.

• Your handshake is rare

A study from the University of Alabama found that people can predict student personality by the way they shake hands. Those with a firm handshake were more positive, open, and less socially anxious.

Another study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology reported that those who had a firm handshake at the start of job interviews were more likely to be hired.

• Demonstrate modesty

Some people use a special method to gain admiration from others, which is to talk negatively about themselves and criticize themselves, instead of showing what they have. It’s a behavior known as “humblebragging,” and it causes a negative reaction in others, and they repel those who do it, according to a Harvard Business School study.

And study participants were asked to write down their weaknesses that they say in a job interview, and results showed that more than 3 quarters of participants wrote down things they were proud of, but modestly , like saying their weakness is being perfect at their job or working too hard.

The result was that people who spoke honestly about themselves and wrote things like “Sometimes I overreact to situations” impressed employees more and were more likely to be hired.

• Many questions, few words

A study by Susan Sprecher, a professor at Illinois State University, warned against trying to get to know others by asking lots of questions without talking about yourself. She stressed that the internal dialogue must be reciprocal between the two parties. If one party talks about themselves, it is expected to be reciprocated and the other party also shares information about themselves.

Allowing your true feelings to come out and sharing them with others strengthens relationships and strengthens the human bond between you, and it is one of the best strategies that endear you to others, unlike those who hide and conceal their feelings completely. feelings.

In a study from the American University of Oregon, researchers looked at the extent to which people interact with video clips of people suppressing their feelings while watching touching scenes and others showing their feelings. The results showed that participants rated those who suppressed their feelings as less tolerant and open than people who showed their feelings normally.

The researchers wrote that people seek out people who share their human feelings with them, so when they see someone repressing and hiding their feelings, they interpret this as being unaffected and lacking in concern for other people’s feelings. .

• You are so kind

You might think that the cuter you are, the friendlier you are. But contrary to what you might think, research, including a study published in Sciencedaily, indicates that excessive kindness and friendliness for no apparent reason can make others think you have ulterior motives.

The extreme kindness of someone in a group raises the expectations of others, so they feel like that person’s behavior makes them look bad in relation to them.

It is difficult to maintain your smile all the time when you are in a social event, but at the beginning of contact with people you do not know, your smile greatly affects their impression of you and their desire to interact with you and to get closer to you. you.

And researchers at Stanford University found that college students who interacted with each other online felt more positive about who smiled the most in their selfies.

• She posts a lot of pictures on social media platforms

Frequently share your photos on social networking sites and view the details of your day; What you ate, where you went, and who you talked to can make others dislike your presence on social media and in real life.

And a study by researcher David Hutton, from the University of Birmingham, UK, found that posting too many photos on Facebook can harm your real-life relationships.

Psychologists know about a phenomenon called reciprocity of appreciation, which means that when we think someone likes us, we tend to like them too.

And researchers from the University of Waterloo and the University of Manitoba have found that when we see people’s acceptance, we act warmer towards them, and then the chances that they really like us increase, according to the British newspaper The Independent.

So even if you’re not sure how the person you’re interacting with has feelings for you, when you act like you like them, they’re likely to like you too, and if you show that you don’t like her, she probably doesn’t like you either.

• You brag about famous people you know

It can be tempting to bring up the name of a celebrity who graduated from your college to impress the person you’re talking to, but it can backfire.

A study by the Swiss University of Zurich indicated that mentioning the names of celebrities in this way makes a person less attractive and effective, and therefore the less the admiration of those around them, the stronger this relationship which binds them to the famous person. .